http://www.icq.com/specials/newyear_2007/

suddenly

or not so but gradually

I came to realisation of that ' I am a jerk'

in a minute ago

I wear bizare costumes

I do unexpected things

I dress up like freaky annoying bitch

I always keep talking that I am a chameloen , i am so,... blahb;lahbalh , such a narcissist idoit

but I dont realise or i fool my own n not to facethat  Iamso annoying and others gey annoyed ,bored

I also subconsiously postpone things that i dislike n neglect , pretend it is not there, or hope they are gone ,will be gone when i postpone them

I hv so much discontent

Whgy?

I always want better

But I find myself so cheap n cheesy , it even makes me sick of myself

poor knowledge but always assume i am so high-class n international n show off ,

bullshit

think i am so unigue and extraordinary

hate hurt n pain n suffer,think it is smart to skip n avoid all those Necessary processes /experience to become a diamond

I pose like Cheap hklocal teen who would make girlls get pregnacy

Italk like so

Ido like so

I act like a dump frog under the well

how come on earth yelling n laughing like psychopath on the street

so should I <<follow your heat>> think positvely to programme my subconscious  or fce fact

accept i m so shit??

keep striking to try improving

Y everything so ambivalent

my home n ppl surrounding me

so contradictory ,ironic,extreme

i m still playing the blame game ? blame all the 'bads' to the family?

I am conceited but not confident ,I am insecure

I am badmouth bbut not strong speaker,

I am selfish but not loving myself,I am letting myself conniving,cosseting,mollycoddling

'Lessons are repeated until they are learnt"

-Andrew Matthews

What & How to do then?