after 3 months

i wonder if there is still anyone checking my blog since i haven't update in 3 months.  there isn't much to write thats why i didn't update. but i guess its time now.

how much more can i manage? how much longer can i handle? i am not too sure.. but i know i am falling apart right now. i am weak.. i forgot how to see things in a positive way.  with all these negative energy around me, i just want to run and hide.  i do not want to be seen.. do not want to be found. but in real life, i m not allowed to do that.  i have to learn to face every single obstacle in my life. but the question is do i have the energy and courage to face every signle one of them?  I would say yes I will try.  but things dun happen the way u want to be just because u have tried.  maybe i didn't try hard enough?  fine i told myself i will try harder.  Nope same situation repeated.  whats wrong now? I really don't know. I am tired.  I cannot handle this any longer. I cant......