To empty and humble ourselves

‘Learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart.’ (Mathew 11:29)

The sharing of our Bible reading group yesterday evening was based on Romans Ch. 9-18. We exchanged ideas about several topics, of which the most thought-provoking was 'spiritual discernment': how we can distinguish God's plan from ours. It was agreed that it is not easy to determine whether what we are doing is in accordance with God's will or our own. Constant contact with God through prayer, however, enables us to sort out what's from God. Most importantly, we ought to empty and humble ourselves to welcome God into our hearts. Indeed to empty ourselves is essential to our spiritual growth. If we refuse to empty ourselves of meaningless and selfish thoughts, we will never hear God's voice, thus ignorant of His plan for our lives.

While the other members were sharing their related experiences, my thoughts drifted back to the previous evening. I was agitated that not even one of the reflections I had written on the assigned Bible verses was included in the 'Daily Words of God' a daily bible reading guide. I was one of those invited to write something about how the Bible verses inspired us. I had actually put a lot of effort in the work. I had spent time understanding the verses before putting my reflections in words. To get the message across effectively, I tried to improve the wording again and again. I also struggled a lot with typing in Chinese word by word using the handwriting software. The product, I believed, was superb.

The fact that my contributions had all been turned down was thus devastating. I asked God why He had first given me a share of the project and then mercilessly stripped me of the fruit of success. He ought not have given me the invitation at all if He had realized my incapability of the task. I was greatly agitated. 'Never will I accept the job again,' I swore.

That, I now realize, was how I slammed the door on the face of God. Had I emptied myself, I could have heard God's voice consoling me. The exclusion of my contributions from the publication may have been an indication of my superficial understanding of the Bible verses. Through this experience, God probably wants me to understand my need for more efforts in Bible studies. Though my reflections do not appear in the book, I did benefit greatly from my preparation work.

Honestly, I still find my writing highly satisfactory. But I have decided to seek improvement through more thorough reading of the Bible. I will bear in mind the need to empty and humble myself as Jesus once said to his disciples, 'Learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart.’ (Mathew 11:29)