New start

Spencer was admitted to be a student of a kindergarten today.  He will start his school life next Monday.  The interview was just a period for the teacher to observe how he played and answered questions.  She gave comments on Spencer saying that he was rush to action and emotionally unstable.... which means, having bad temper all the time and easily.  The principal asked us to take more care about these issues.... and then said, "but we still let him enrol."  woo...... within the coming 15mins, I wrote out 2 cheque.... $738 for the PE uniform and the sleeping package (including the pillow, blanket...etc) and $4400 for the 1st month school fee!!!! WOOOOOOOO........I'm thinking of buying new shoes before returning to work!!!!!!! Luckily, Siuming promised to pay for this with my 1k contribution!!! OR, I'll bankrupt shortly.

Thanks so much for giving me the strengthen to let Spencer to go to school.  It's very good to have you all to give me clear opinions.  From a mother's point of view, I grab my son too tight and afriad him to be hurted too much!  Marco's right, I have to let go.  He'll face the same situation sooner or later.  Though I understand all these, I'm still feeling heart broken when writing this and talking to you all.

Siuming said I might have depression.  When Simeon got cold (infected by Spencer when he was just 1 month), I blamed myself so much.  I blamed myself that I didn't take good care of him and therefore made him got cold... thus took drug at such a young age.  Before confirming to let Spencer to go to school, I always sleepless but thinking of how to handle the 2 boys.  Some mid-nights, when I looked at Simeon and thinking about my life.  I thought of the day when I die.  If I left that eariler, who's going to take care of them?  I want to see how they look like when they grow up and I want to know how they're going.... My heart sank to the bottom... and then I thought of our God.  He gives me courage to thinking further.  And I told Siuming... "Though I die, Simeon and Spencer are the continue of my life"  I won't die then...

Thinking too much  about "birth and death" lately.  Maybe especially after the last 2 fellowships and I am worried about my high blood pressure together with the numb figners with unknown reason.  Life is so unexpected and let's enjoy every second we have on earth!

Right now, Simeon is about to have his 1st milk on 31 Aug.  Spencer is sleeping together with Siuming.  I'd better stop now and make the milk now.