Job promotion = More frustration?

August is a new milestone in my job, as I have been promoted to a post-doctoral fellow position in the same work place. This is a post that I have been waiting for long after having the Ph.D degree in June.

Of course, I am very happy with this job promotion. However, I also feel anxious at the same time...

I am not quite confident in doing my job well. This is the first time that I feel doubtful with my ability...

The first challenge is the project on the service evaluation of general outpatient clinics endorsed by the Hospital Authority. This is a very big project, and I am really feeling very surprised for such a big amount of grant that the School can obtain. As this is a very big project, therefore, it involves a lot of team members. Involving too many people can always mean chaos, especially if the team members are not used to have much communication...

This project has been started since April, however, I have just joined the project in August following the job promotion. I just know that I will be responsible for the qualitative part of this project, therefore, I will need to design an interview question guide for various groups of informants. However, this is the most difficult interview question guide that I have ever done, because I have no idea of what other team members are doing. The design of this interview question guide requires a lot of background information provided by other team members, but there is a very strange work culture in my work place - no one will tell you what they are doing.

Fortunately, I still have a very good friend and colleague who helps me a lot in the interview question guide, though both of us are really very confused of what questions we should design, because none of us knows clearly what the objectives of the project are.

Even if I asked other team members, they were not too helpful and would just tell you to look through the proposal, though I have looked into the proposal many times and still feel very confused of what they are planning to do.

Obviously, they also do not have a good idea of the proposal; actually, the proposal was drafted by my previous boss.

Also, as a team member has resigned from his job, therefore I will need to take over his role as a project manager to coordinate the whole team. However, what I know about this project is very limited, and the most difficult part is that I have no ways to know more about the details of this project. So, how can I do this job well?

The boss of this project is a result-oriented person. I know if I cannot do this job well, then it's the time for me to leave...

There is another thing that I am feeling even more frustrated with...

Post-doctoral fellow is a training position that provides a series of systematic training for several years. It is mainly for fresh Ph.D graduates and they have to work with a supervisor closely and learn how to become an independent academic person. There is some admission constraints for the post-doctoral fellow position though, as most institutions will just only accept the fresh Ph.D graduates with no more than 3 or 4 years of experience for this position.

That means these 3 or 4 years are crucial for me. After the post-doctoral fellow training, it is supposed that I should have sufficient ability to become independent in the academic sphere. However, I still have no idea of who will be my supervisor, and have no ideas of what sorts of training that I will need to undergo...

To be honest, I just have the impression that they do not have an idea to provide training for me - I just feel that they just want someone to work, not really to train me up...

It's even more frustrated to know that some other fresh Ph.D graduates who are graduated from this institution can have a clearer idea of who their supervisors are, and most importantly, they could receive a longer period of training.

I just wonder why we can have such a big difference in terms of treatment, though all of us are fresh Ph.D graduates?