how far can we go?

how far ..can we maintain our relationship in this state?

It's really great to know someone who knows you so well in just one day like that.haha. you will be amazed.Ya, that's what happened.

Yesterday is my second day of work in Harvey Normen again. Without much effort, i sold another 3 YP-U4 mp3 again.Yoho. I am glad at least i have sales. If not, i will be that...embarrassed.

All my working collegues are guys. After working for almost the whole week, i feel that i have became a  little different.

As you interact with people, you get alot of ideas and communication exchange with other people. (AGAIN< go by theory) haha..

I  was ultra tired yesterday. Rushing to work at that late hours.As i am using the punch card systems, i can't be late for even 1 sec. Of course i am always a puntunctual person.haha, but first day i went there i am late lor. Saturday. Bcos i went to buy a black colour polo tee which i don't seem to have it at home.

Yesterday, he told me more about myself. It's really strange to hear someone who tells you how your personality is like. My tears actually welled up in my eyes for a couple of times because he said something that is too straight forward which i can't take it.

He asked me over and over again for my most embarrassing incident. I just can't say it out. He said: "if you don't try to say it now, you can never say it."and this is a good chance. Ya, i miss that chance again. in the end i fail to say it. in order to help me to say it, he even told me 2 of his most embarrassing incidents which i find it extremely hilarious man.

Shock to see Darren come in my counter and brought the food for me. Wah...i am ultra shock. Makes me feel so .kind of touch? not really. SHOCK>>VERY.REALLY> even he could tell that i am afraid of him. With one word"possessive", "He" got how "he" is Like. ai ya, so complicated.

today is a resting day. rest at home. Eat at home. Legs are still pain. the pain stretch and extend to my upper thighs.

there are so much things to write. Back to my topic sentence. i don't know how long can our frienship last. I am not that kind of people could sustain long-term relationship. The moment you see me, i am entitle to you. I am really with you. But when i back home, i may wonder different stuff. PL also said the same thing. Hai~ sorry, i just have no confidence- i enjoy alot with you, but i am scare /afraid whether you do have the same thoughts or whatever. i am worry, i am scared. i am not confident to take  it.

He said "No scared No scared" what kind of language is that..AGAIN- i laughed till i can't control myself. He can put the most embarrassing moment or worst incident in a very fun and easy way. Smile to that horrible experience like a breeze over the place. I am still trapped. obviously. But he started to break down my high protective wall inside my heart. First time i look into a person eyes. That's what he said. I must. Look into a person 'eyes, and you know alot.

He's just 18. And he is so strong and cheerful. I am living under the shade of people. I am living in the image of theirs and not mine. Sounds so horrible, but that's the way to survive.

I always have a choice. Yes, i have a choice to eat my own food. i don't want to be pressurized. i decided to throw all those theory, rules, restriction behind. I want to live like myself, not like anyone else. Becoming what they want to become, like my mother, i really hate that. seriously. No more. Even you said i change alot, becos i am so used to be living like what you want me to be. it's stressful. Really.