開卷有笑

除了閱讀文史哲外，我也很喜歡看笑話書。 最近也看了兩本。 以下三則笑話是我參考原著後的改良版：

笑話一：《三字經》英文版

自從美國奧巴馬總統和國務卿希拉利在2009年7底的中美戰略對話中分別引用中國經典文學和諺語來表示對中國的尊重後，美國大學突然吹起一陣中國古典文化風。 美國華盛頓亞美利堅大學翻譯系三年級的考試題目就是要學生把中國的《三字經》翻譯成英文。 以下是一位學生的答案：

三字經 (The Theory of Three Letters: S.E.X.)

人之初.性本善.性相近.習相遠.

(At the beginning of mankind, sex was good. Sexual ability of the people was similar, it was the practice that made the difference)

茍不教.性乃遷.教之道.貴以專.

If one lacked sex education at his early age, his sexual ability would drop; the doctrine of sex education is concentration.)

昔孟母.擇鄰處.子不學.斷機杼.

(In the past, Madame Mang was picky in choosing the neighborhood. When her son did not take sex education, she broke the shaft of the weaving machine with anger.)

竇燕山.有義方.教五子.名俱揚.

(Master Dou of Yian Mountain had a great formula. He taught his five sons and they all became very famous for their sexual behaviors.)

養不教.父之過.教不嚴.師之惰.

(Up-bringing with no education was the fault of the fathers; teaching with no discipline was the laziness of teachers.)

子不學.非所宜.幼不學.老何為.

(It was highly inappropriate for a student to refuse sex education.  If one did not take it when he was young, how could he have such ability when he grew old?)

笑話二：KFC 海報上的口號

潮流興遊學。 幾個來自北京的90代中學生在香港紅磡火車站下車後，在火車站內的肯德基炸雞店吃炸雞。 他們看到店內四處都張貼著海報。 在海報上肯德基上校說："We do chicken right"

內地領隊問：「同學們可知道這句說話的意思？」

同學A：「我們有權做雞。」

同學B：「我們去做雞，好嗎？」

同學C：「我們推行『雞權』。」

同學D：「我們去做雞的是右派。」

同學E：「我們做雞是對的嗎？」

內地領隊：「你們都錯了。這間店舖只賣雞的右邊部份。」

笑話三： 超酷的盤問

美國馬利蘭州州法院真人真事。 在一宗離婚官司中，一名初出茅廬的律師代表丈夫向他的妻子作出盤問。 法庭錄音的書面謄本顯示以下證供：

Lawyer: Madam, you said your husband treated you so badly that you had   committed self-destruction acts.  What did you mean by self-destruction acts?

Wife:     I meant I had committed suicide before.

Lawyer: How many times had you ever committed self-destruction acts?

Wife:     10 times.

Lawyer: Were you successful in any of your self-destruction acts?