Happy

Cant remember when I was really really happy last time. Anyways, now, i am =)

Recently I've developed a habbit of seeing friends' photos at facebook. Looking at their lives, looking at them beng so happy, makes me remember who I really was/am, reminds me of how deviated I am from what i was. I have a feeling that I'm getting too far away from the real me. The whole high-class, westernized thing is just..not my cup of tea. I may be able to be there, but I'm sure i'm much more happy when I'm being Me, the original me. NOw the question is, what is the original me? I guess it's just a simple person living a simple life. Having fun by hanging out with friends at home, sunbathing somewhere, have dinners and lunches with them (I cant remember te last time I had meals with friends together...i just..cant!), chit-chatting, watching movies, playing with my dogs, going out with my parents/cousins/brother, talking to my maids, seeing the night view from the Peak/harbour side, going to concerts, ....maybe that's what I really want. The whole Shakespear, english, well-behaved, branded life is just not..mine.

Well..though I've said so,  I still know what i have to do now. I've spent a year and so , 4 yrs coming ahead now. I'll just try my best. If i can do it, fine. if I cant, I'm sure there's another way out.

Suddenly I want to talk to ga ga. I want to talk to hesta. I want to talk to milial. I want to go dup gwad with mom and dad. I want to talk to siu gay gay and siu mui mui. I want to talk to lota and nick. I want to go back to Australia.

How come everyone is getting married? my secondary schoolmates, my ex-roommate, my best friends, my cousin....looking at their photos/wedding plan, i just cant imagine what it will be if it's my own wedding. Is it like a sweet sweet thing or is it just like a show? I just cant think. IMagining it makes me nervous, i mean stressed. Why would you like a show for your wedding? Shouldnt that be a union of the two? or should that be a moment receiving everyone's best wishing and love. hum..both are tempting.

anyways, it wont happen any soon, or it may never happen. why bother.

right. time to get back to my essay. I just don't want tomorrow to come though I'm flying back home. I hate the stress from the conversion exams, job apps, ....that's how much I hate the whole law thing.