da !&* post!

First off, I have nothing against those people wit expensive cameras. They are amazing and I see them all around. Yet, I still don’t think that a fancy Canon or Nikon camera( which probably costs you at least a thousand dollars***),simply makes you a good photographer. Well, it might help you to become or at least to look like a pro easier. However, I believe that the things you capture and the way you capture them is always the most important and valuable thing that makes you an impressive photographer. After all, I think photography should be about uniqueness and how you see the world in your own eyes rather than using superior techniques and even be bounded by these so called photography rules and skills. (sound so much like a lomo person all of a sudden???) Especially in these days, people can just easily photoshop their pictures. It saves you so much time and money too. So what if I can’t afford a Canon? So what if I’m just messing around with all the images and lights? If this is who you truly are, then what's wrong with just simply expressing yourself to people the way you want?

I wanna cry. I wish I could just move on so easily like you did. I wish I could just be you, turn around and pretend that nothing had happened at all. Damnit, why should I even care? I know the whole point of writing all these things.I’m being irrationally emotional again and again. How can I stop? I know I’m starting to lose everything that I used to have. I’m starting to lose them all. I hate to see that your life is better than mine. I hate to let you know that I suffer so much since u left. I lied, i am never happy for you eventho i know you're doing so well now.I don't wanna become a total loser in front of you. I feel so ashamed.People come and leave, how come they never stay? never even stay long enough to notice my shedded tears? I miss you so much for just being a friend who was always there for me and I could always tell you all my feelings coz I think it's almost impossible for me to ever find a person who I can trust so much and feel so comfortable with anymore. Without you, I feel like an alien, I don't know where to fit in on this planet. My dearest friend, so many years huv passed, and I just wanna let you know I've never survived a day without thinking about you. I still have endless things to say, but just dunno how to start and who to say it to…