我的得救見證

自我介紹

價值觀和家庭背景：

我的父母是經營賣米的生意，以前這是很風光的，但因一些突然的改變令我們的經濟困難，那時我看到爸媽因爲窮，所以被人罵、被逼遷離原來的居所，令我覺得人如果窮、無成就，會被人看不起。而且，從小到大，媽媽都教導我要努力讀書，要比別人好，才可以成功。因此，我心裏面常常以考好成績為目標，每天都努力溫習；希望父母可以我作為他們的驕傲，為他們吐一口氣。他們對我的期望也非常高。當時我的學業成績等同我的成就、價值。

所以不難想像當時的我並不快樂，當我考試平均分比之前好，我不會特別高興，因爲我覺得下一次可能會比這次差；但如果比之前差，我便會很不開心。  在我的生活内，只有無盡的追趕，達到一個目標以後還有無盡的目標。雖然我本來是為爸媽而努力，但我因爲整天只顧讀書，沒有時間去明白和了解他們；與家人的關係並不太好，很多時都會爲了一些小事發脾氣，本末倒置，囘想起來實在可惜。 而且，我本身都很自我，很多因爲自我中心引發的自私思想和内裏面的罪。 雖然在老師心目中我是品學兼優的好學生，但我自己知自己事；自己都想改變但又無辦法。

怎麽信主？找到生存的意義，不是爲了很多外面的價值

中學公開考試發放成績後，縱然我所有科目全是優等；我在地鐵内，面對著人來人往，感到非常迷惘，突然感到考完試以後無了目標，不知道人生方向在哪裏。接著，中六便被中文大學收錄入讀工程系，被中文大學收錄之後的暑假，即使考進了喜歡的工程系（小時候的夢想是能製作一個機械人）；同學們全都在溫習，自己卻在家裏沒有事做，這種無方向的感覺更嚴重。其實我以為自己達到理想應該很開心，我自己都不明白為何會這樣迷茫。後來同學邀請我去教會的佈道會，題目是《豐盛人生》；之前一天的晚上，我更因一些小事跟我的弟弟爭執，結果整晚都睡得不好，覺得跟人的關係因自己的固執也變得很遠。我知道自己有不對，但又不肯先向人道歉；又想起自己的人生意義不知道是爲了什麽。  當講員說只有在耶穌裏面才可找到豐盛人生的意義，我的腦海裏湧現過去不斷溫習但卻永遠得不到快樂的情形。當我想到主爲了愛人而捨棄一切，願意為我們的罪釘十字架，我感到自己生存的意義不是爲了很多外面的價值，即使沒有作成什麽，我在神眼裏已是很寶貴。加上面對自己無法洗脫的罪，我便決定信主。

信主後的改變：

信主以後，其實都有一段時間掙扎，進入大學後有不少衝擊（尤其是我當時做了學生會的部員），但主讓我祂裏面找到真正的平安和滿足。我在教會中認識神更多，也在生活中慢慢地經歷到神的帶領和引導。 祂也堅定了我，使我能夠從大學階段到工作都在各樣的決定上學懂怎樣禱告倚靠祂。 直到今天，我仍然有很多不同的理想和目標，但我知道我的價值並不是因爲成績好，也不是因爲我在世界上有多成功。 而是因爲神愛我，願意為我犧牲，即使我有很多的罪。  從教會的事奉及與弟兄姊妹的相處，使我更體會神對我的忍耐和恩典；以致我對家人也多了體諒，關係也藉著溝通得到改善。 縱然人生有很多變化，我相信神會帶領我，和我一起走人生的路程。

My background –

I was born in a family running a grocery shop.  Once it was a money earning business in HongKong, however, it could have hard times.  When I was still 8 years old, my family finance was in a very difficult situation and we had to borrow fr relatives to continue the business.  At that time, I had seen a lot of people treating my parents badly for they were not rich anymore and had no money.  It was really a hard time and I had determined to try my best to be successful and never let people look down at my family anymore. 

Therefore, I have been very hardworking in schoolwork and I was always the first/second among my peers.  My mum had put all hope on me and all I had in my mind was to be the winner to get others’ recognition.  My value system was totally based on my achievement and I always set a higher goal after achieving one target.  It was my life as a child, and I had no happiness even when I was praised by my teachers, parents and friends since I was very stressful in my studies.  If I got an “A“ this time, I would target for an “A” next time and I will feel very sad if I had only “A-“.  There were infinitive targets waiting in front for me and I started to feel lost at secondary 5. Even though I was the apple in my teachers’ eyes, I was actually very hot tempered and self-centered.  I could easily feel jealous if I become the loser in exam.  I had not communicated much with my family since I always got more important agenda to accomplish. Originally, I hope to get achievement to please my family, but I went in the opposite way as I had only my studies in my mind.

How I turn to Lord, Jesus?

In Hong Kong, we have public exam at secondary 5 and I had got very excellent result with all distinctions.  However, after I got the result, I went home by Metro.  On the way, I had seen many people passing by and I suddenly felt I didn’t know where to go.  Because this public exam takes 2 years to prepare and I had been very concentrated in my studies that this occupied all my mind.  After completing this target, I had no new target yet and I started to think what the meaning of life was. 

After that, I was quickly accepted to University for my result was good, while my classmates were still in secondary, preparing for the public exam of University admission.  Even though I could study engineering which was my dream, I felt very boring in my summer vacation since all my friends were busy studying.

And the thought about the meaning of life came back.  Then my friend invited me to the church and the sermon topic was “the Fruitful Life”.  It was exactly what I need!!!

At the night before I went to church, I quarreled with my brother for some things very minor and I was very angry.  When I heard Pastor talking about how Jesus had sacrificed for our sins, I felt very grateful and I was not in anger anymore.  I knew that only Lord is the meaning of life.  He is the way.

I know that He will always forgive me and love me.  Finally, I decided to become a Christian.

AFTER

At the beginning of my university study, it was not easy as it was totally different from school life in secondary school. Since I had become one of the member in student union, I was always in struggle for the time spent in church and student union. However, God has prepared some angels to walk with me in University and they are the brothers and sisters in church.

I had experienced God as he listened to my prayers and guided me along the way.  Now, I am still with many dreams and targets, but I know my value, not in my achievement, but in Jesus who treasures all of us no matter how many sins we have.